29 August 2021

Nightmare makeup

If Freddie existed, he would definitely not allow the existence of makeup trash! And today you will see what a nightmare makeup looks like on the pages of famous Russian glossy magazines. This defies any explanation …

But first, the famous counting rhyme from the movie “Nightmares on Elm Street” on the sore subject of make-up:

“One, two, shading is not bad,

Three, four, arrows at random we can do everything,

Five, six, it turned out, really tin,

Seven, eight, we shade badly,

Nine, ten, approved, we leave everything as it is. “

But what if you imagine who and how created the trash makeup? Maybe then the situation will clarify a little …

So, imagine some makeup artists doing their job and commenting on it for us so that we have an idea of ​​it.

Trash makeup in glossy beauty magazines

# 1

Make-up artist Anya tells how to make “Fatal Look” using false eyelashes.

Nightmare makeup

“Take your lashes as long as possible! Do not shorten and cut them, it will look much cooler. After that, stick them not from the inner corner of the eye, as expected, but almost from the center of the eye. So that the eyes look as lowered as possible. This will be our fatal look! I’m telling you, make-up artist Anya! “

Nightmare makeup

# 2

“A languid look” – said Alexander having started a make-up for one magazine.


“For this you need eyelashes and eyeliner. The more carelessly you stick on your eyelashes and draw an arrow, the more you will look like a girl from the pages of a glossy magazine. And do not worry about this makeup, just look at yourself in the mirror and say: “I’m super!”. And then your doubts will fade into the background! ”

No. 3

It was very hectic in the dressing room, the situation was heating up and all because he worked – the genius of make-up Fedor! Everyone knew that if Fedor does makeup for the next issue, then it will be Agony! The editor-in-chief’s expectations came true when he saw it!

Nightmare makeup

Fedor commented on his work as follows:

“More gold! Don’t be afraid of him! Do you want to draw a spot on the lower eyelid, and then a line and no matter where it goes and why, it just is and that’s enough! Do you understand me?”

No. 4

The next make-up artist is Maria, who diligently tried to apply and at the same time advertise the new eye shadow from Dior.

Nightmare makeup

Maria was a person with a delicate nature, she did her makeup so diligently and thoroughly that during the process of applying shadows she dropped 2 kg at once, the shading turned out to be so painstaking. True, they did not dare to show us the final result.

No. 5

In the case of Katya, everything looks a little different … she was not a make-up artist, but she always dreamed of becoming one. Therefore, when the conversation turned to makeup for the May issue, she remembered her dream and, like a schoolgirl, shouted: “Can I! May I do my makeup! ” The team mutually decided: “Let them try, but what if it works out?”. And it worked.


# 6

The makeup artist had nothing to do with it, just during his work a certain carefree Lesha walked past Veronica and touched her hand so that she trembled and the arrow went a little higher than it should have been. But no one attached this value, since the error seemed insignificant.


# 7

As for this makeup option, it will be a long story, where Nadezhda accidentally spied on a couple of tutorials from other competing magazines and decided to embody all their mistakes in one makeup. These are both poorly drawn arrows and incorrectly pasted eyelashes. But she believed that it was a real masterpiece!


No. 8

A real fashion make-up artist took part in this shooting. He knows the trends and strives to implement them. So, quickly and easily, he decided on shading blue shadows to his eyebrows, a little dirty, but confident in the purity of his work. He was so convincing that the editor-in-chief believed both in the trend and that it should be so!

Nightmare makeup

No. 9

Here you can see the work of a creative person who has a sense of humor! He never thinks about combining colors, but simply “bangs” one color after another. And it seems he is satisfied with his work ?!

Nightmare makeup

No. 10

The last option should be considered as a whole. This is exactly what the “Fashion” section looks like in the presentation of one of the magazines. And in my opinion, they can no longer be convinced of this!)


The conclusion I want to draw is quite serious with numerous questions to which I have not found answers.

For a long time I have been thinking about how this trash makeup gets on the glossy pages? So it was approved and approved? So there are people behind this who believe that this is how makeup should be?

But what about the reader? How should he perceive what he saw? For the truth or a joke? After all, we are talking about magazines, about those who educate our tastes. And the most important question, if you saw the same as me, then why the chief editors do not see this?